Entry: Dating Wednesday, February 04, 2004



This post comes from Jen... a fellow poster at the forum created by me ( Megiddo )
Thanks for letting me use this Jen!
This post is on the topic of dating:



" Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?...What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For as we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, an I will be their God, and they will be my people."
"Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."

This is 2 Corinthians 14-17... and it is very clear how God sees our relationships.
We are to be yoked to believers, so that we may spur each other on to faith. To enter a relationship with an unbeliever (that is anyone who does not confess Jesus as Lord of their life) is to disobey the word of God.

As well, another side point: as Christians we are not to 'date' but rather to court. To date, is to prepare for a breakup, which in the equivalent to divorce in marriage. God does not support divorce but He supports unity. Courtship and dating are similar, but here is the key difference: Courtship is 'dating' with the intention of being married. It is a relationship that is entered into where both parties know that the relationship will head to marriage, and it has been brought before God in prayer. In relationships we are to bring it up before God, and seek His will in all situations. Dating can be a part of courtship, but dating without commitment can be dangerous. We need to not get into relationships unless God is the focus and the center. A question to ask yourself before getting into a relationship is 'why'? God has everything we need, anything that we may seek in a relationship God has for us, and if we obey His timing and His will things will be a lot better than if we make our own decisions. Leave it to God, He does good for the sake of those who love Him... so TRUST HIM.

The main point is, both people in a relationship must be in a similar place with God. The best way to know if someone knows God, and lives for God, is by the fruit in their life. "The fruit of the spirit is Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5.22-23) Do they live with Love? do they have joy? are they patient? are they faithful? are they gentle? do they have self-control?

Relationships are meant to bring both parties closer to God and closer to each other. Before entering a relationship, both parties must be in good relationship with God, and then they can move closer to each other as they both move closer to God. They must be able to be independant, yet dependant. Think of a triangle. The top of the triangle being God, the bottom left being you, and the bottom right being a potential spouse. As the relationship between each of you gets closer to God (the top), the relationship between you two gets closer as well. This is how God created relationships to be. However, if you instead move closer to the other person, and not closer to God, you do not advance and there is no growth. You stay where you are, and God is the 'outsider'. This is not His will.

So, in summary:

When considering a relationship, think 'would I consider spending the rest of my life with this person?' and pray to God for revelation of His will. Wait on God. Wait and listen. He will speak to you. Also consider 'why am I wanting to be involved with someone?" and if it is something like 'loneliness' or 'something to do' or 'everyone else is' then I suggest bringing that to God. He knows what you need, and He knows the desires of your heart. The bible says that God knows all we want and need and if we submit to His will then He will bless us with the desires of our hearts. We have to humble ourselves and submit our will to God.

God is our best friend. He desires relationship with us. He will never leave us nor forsake us, so there is no reason to go looking to imperfect humans to fulfill things that only God can.

Hopefully this makes sense to you guys.

   4 comments

Hannah
February 6, 2004   08:59 PM PST
 
Well, I don't really care what you call it (dating, courting, whatever), but I think it's always good to do it with the intention of marrying. That way you try harder to get to know each other, appreciate each other, understand each other, and you make sure they know everything about you at the beginning of the courtship/dating. That way there won't be any surprises or anything later on. From everything I've heard, this approach seems to work really well. Great success rate and all, y'know.
taryn
February 5, 2004   07:16 PM PST
 
yeah... I know what she/you meant, but I still like dating. i mean, yeah, no one's could come close to God but maybe I dont get it. Dating to me is a way to gain experience (Not sexually but in different adventures and "dates") To me, a "boyfriend" is a guy (or girl, if you're a guy) that you can talk to all the time and just enjoy the company of.
Hannah
February 5, 2004   06:57 PM PST
 
Good going, Jen!
Jen
February 4, 2004   07:11 PM PST
 
glad to contribute

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